I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize