Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
