He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
