Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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