He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
