Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
