Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We left an ass print on the piano.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
