I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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