K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
