Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
