I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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