All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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