Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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