Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
