Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
