Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize