It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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