just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize