i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
