I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
