I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
