stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
People in love make me want to vomit
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
