Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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