I want to walk on stilts...naked
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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