Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
