Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
