I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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