He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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