I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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