Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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