it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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