don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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