Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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