Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
