GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
