Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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