i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
