i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
