I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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