I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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