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He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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