it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
