Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
