Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
