I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize