I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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