You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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