remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
