I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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