yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you never un-have a 4some
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
