Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
