anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
