That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize