im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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