i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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