sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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