You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
