READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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