She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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